I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
