I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
