I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize