My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
