i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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