The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
