I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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