I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
