Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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