anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
