just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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