I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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