what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
