So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
