did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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