i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
