She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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