the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
