So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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