At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
