it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize