Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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