shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
