he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
