absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
