Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
