I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
