I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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