Whod you bang
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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