i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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