Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
