Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize