yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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