elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
