OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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