I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
