So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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