Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
