that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
