Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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