If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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