too bad you live with your parents still
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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