dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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