We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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