That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
