I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Found the puke drawer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
