i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
