Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
