Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
