So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
