I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
