i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
