My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I look better un-naked...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
