...so i touched it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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