i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
