she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
