They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
