I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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