Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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