just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
