If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
