Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
