There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
