i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
