found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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