I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
