Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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