So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize