On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
