Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
