Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
