there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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