She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
