i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
