Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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