I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
