He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
