if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
