Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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