she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she told me i tasted like america
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
