Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize