The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
